Yes, it's true - I identify with the esoteric, reactionary right, and for those open minded enough to listen; I will try to explain why.
I didn't exactly enter into it, I wasn't groomed online, algorithms didn't lead me down that path and my mind has not been warped by 4chan.
For the “liberal” or the socialist reading this it would be convenient if I presented a story about how I was led astray by poison and online radicalisation but I'm afraid, if you really want to understand why; You will have to let go of that notion -
I've always orientated myself towards this camp though I didn't realise it until quite recently because I didn't have a deep enough understanding of politics - over time, as I have observed society move, In particular - in increasingly polarised directions, I have come to a deeper understanding and realisation in regards to where I stand - both politically and spiritually, and it is from a process of self discovery and coming to terms with who I am which has led me here;
But lets start with school. School is really the first time that you get a real taste of the left - as in, you get to experience something like socialism - and with it comes subjugation, control and the debasing ignorance of the state and the group - or the big society; which privileges the interests of the mass and the collective over the individual.
I attended a state school and I was catageorised as “special needs” - I was diagnosed with dyslexia, ended up in the lower sets and taken out of classes and put into small special learning groups (which were a waste of time becuase I learned to spell online) - that carried on throughout the entire experience I had within those institutions.
Dyslexia is little understood. We know that dyslexia correlates with creativity, as does shizotypal personality disorder and we know conditions like autism and ADHD present various examples of nurodivergence and neuroatypical cognitive processing; all of which the school system, and wider society struggles to accommodate for - trying to make one fit into the system rather than the other way around.
In my experience with dyslexia - I noticed that I have a very poor short term memory (I later found out that I have aphatasia which I think is the real cause). I still can’t remember my phone number although Iv seen it a billion times and this held me back becuase a majority proportion of schooling seemed to be about copying and remembering information -
However the flip-side of neurodivergence is that the brain cannot form the normal, short, linear and direct synaptic connections between neurons which are involved in conventional informational processing - so instead, it forms divergent pathways which means one takes longer to learn, and learns in unconventional ways (problem?).
This often results in; well basically you build a different model of the world in your brain from the rest of society - you create an alternate picture of reality, which is often at odds with “society” at large, as in; different from other people with more “normal” cognitive architectures around you - normies.
That could mean that you are less easy to indoctrinate or control and less susceptible to group-think, il leave that notion up to you - beucase maybe you think the opposite.
As I became a teenager and as I started to get into music, fashion and I was also into aggressive rollerblading (this was big in the late 90s/ early 00s) - I wanted to express who I was, particularly becuase I was really shy to the point where I couldn’t really communicate or talk to people and although I had some friends I spent a lot of time on my own at lunchtimes.
We had a really strict uniform policy which would suppress attempts at self expression and after various band hoodies we’re confiscated from me and then lost or stolen I started to build up resentment around the system.
Of course I thought this was cool and perfectly acceptable - becuase being alternative, valuing self expression, being ones-self, differentiated and opposed to the system informed who I was and I was lucky that I lived in a liberal, individualistic, capitalist society which at least accommodated and celebrated that, to some extent.
When I finished school I got into graffiti and I ended up getting caught becuase I was really reckless about it, then I became increasingly interested in contempary Art and Music and so I entered Art School and into Art scenes.
I made a friend whilst at Art school and the subject of school uniform was brought up on one occasion; I was shocked when they informed me that they were in favour of uniform “becuase it levels things out so kids who can’t afford more expensive brands feel equal”.
- I was angry and confused. This was an assault on individually, freedom, creativity and self expression, all for the appeaseal and superficial veiling of the mass, which made them all look the same (we had a grey uniform and I’m now thinking of the grey NPC Wojaks) - I instinctively felt like this mentality was dangerous and a threat to freedom and autonomy, and to humanity.
I still feel that way -
As I continued to grow and develop within Art scenes - places where I belived freedom, creativity and individuality were championed; I started to realise that these scenes were increasingly dominated by the institutional left, at least theoretically and critically - despite the Art game itself being market driven and capitalistic.
This paradox continues to increase, as I later realised that this phenomena was not confined to the Art World and its institutions (although early on some people tried to tell me that it was) - but in fact was present in the universities, the media systems and wider “cathedral”, and was only getting worse.
At the time I didn’t think of myself as right wing or reactionary; I’d read a little bit of Chomsky, Zizek and Marx and I’d become superficially interested in Anarchism and Anarcho-Syndacalism. This was before the contemporary culture wars and before the societal changes which swept in after Occupy Wall steet in 2011 in the lead up to the 2016 election in the US.
I’m not going to go into the culture wars, the red pilling, the black pilling and the divisions which continue to increase in Western society - we all know how that happened, more-or-less but I will say that it is increasingly becoming inevitable that one is forced to choose a side -
And this is partly why I’m writing this, I feel as though I have no other choice - I’m on the esoteric right, I believe the left must be opposed as it is more dangerous than right wing populism because the general societal trajectory is leading towards totalitarian communism (for which the pushback from the right is only a reaction due to increasing pressure from the left).
What I will delve into is spirituality, autonomy, individualism and the current state of society -
As I write this, I see that there is a petition in my country to make mask wearing compulsory becuase the government has decided to make it a personal choice.
Of course I support it being a personal choice - forcing people to walk around in masks is disgusting and I wouldn’t treat animals that way, let alone human beings - but I fear that as much as the current government may try to oppose it, the trajectory is generally tending towards totalitarian, collectivist control.
It is frightening that there is a large proportion of people who support compulsory mask wearing, and what’s more, there is even a large proportion of people who support vaccine passports and even compulsory vaccination.
And on top of this, there is a significant proportion of people who are engaging in snitching on ‘heretics and dissenters’ on behalf of the state - which is all starting to look a lot like communism.
Now, societical and spiritual subjugation for the “greater good of the collective” (ruling through fear and totalitarian control isnt good for anyone) might not look as bad as hate crimes, racist attacks, xenophobia and increasing entho-nationalistic sentiments and I fully accept that.
I want to make it clear that I oppose racism, bigotrory and hatred; many on the right are obsessed with race and nationality, and hateful, which I unfortunately have to accept; but if you read my other writings, you will hopefully see that I am not.
So, just because I am stating here that I identify with the esoteric right does not mean that I support or condone many of the unsavoury things that people associate with the right - In fact I vehemently oppose them and find it upsetting when I hear of hatred and racist attacks increasingly occurring in modern society.
This must be condemned, opposed and resisted. I have love and respect for people of different cultures, races, ethnicities and nationalities and the range of creativity, philosophy and spirituality that they bring - I would actually say more so than many on the left becuase the left seems to deny that differences like race exist - in turn, tending towards homogenisation, cultural eradication, ignorance and denial of difference.
In the past I have tried and failed to orientate myself towards the mentality of the left but I find it to be anti-intellectual, morally infantile and spiritually impoverished - so I have have now all but given up on it and accepted the other side.
I am also aware that many people on the left will view my perspective as selfish, spoilt and privileged - and due to this, I feel it is my job to explain why perspectives such as mine matter.
The societieal tendency towards subjugation to the will of the mob and the global state is the single greatest threat that we face as a species - more so than Artifical Intelligence becuase AI will be used to implement totalitarianism on its behalf.
When Trump was elected, sales of George Owells 1984 skyrocketed; which is strange beucase Trump, leaning more toward the nationalistic and reactionary right, a populist no doubt, was certainly oppositional to the kind of society that 1984 was forwarning of - and which we are now getting in droves.
Recently I have been attending protests against lockdowns, mask wearing, vaccinations and vaccination passports, 5G and tyranny and my artsy lefty peers, of course, have not been attending these protests.
The left have been protesting against the police being given more powers (cute) - which is obviously a concern but its part of a wider picture that is orientated towards the creation of a global fascist state, they do not seem to see the big picture.
Many on the left don’t understand why we are protesting for freedom from creeping totalitarianism becuase the totalitarianism is fed to them by “global experts”, “scientists” and institutions that frame it in a way that is orientated towards the goals and the ideals of “protecting the masses” -
This is becuase they do not see it as tyrannical - the way they see it, forcing people to do things like; everyone has to wear the same uniform, everyone has to wear masks, or get tested, vaccinated, tracked and traced is a kind of equality which they see as good;
because it’s “fair”, “equal” and supposedly “for our protection” -
They view anyone who is opposed to this type of state as a threat to the kind of society that they want to live in - which is one where the state protects everyone and we all conform to their systems of control - led by the will of the mob, the institutions and the globalists.
Capitalism sells us Communism.
This is where spirituality comes in.
It is why many people, myself included, believe that this is now a spiritual war.
As divisions increase; many fail to realise that there is a rift in society, that there are people who feel the total opposite to them; and at the last march for freedom that I attended, there must have been tens of thousands of people. I am really bad at estimating numbers but there was a lot, the biggest I’d seen from this movement - and the Western Media were silent about it.
The left cannot understand the movement because they appear to have a kind Stockholm syndrome, in the words of Xenogothic “I like wearing a mask”.
The left, you see - are not terribly spiritual people, and if they do get into things like the Occult it is usually left-hand path occultism - which leads them away from God and down dark and dangerous parths.
Society right now is split - we are divided and it wasn’t Trump who divided us, something else did, don’t ask me what exactly - I don’t know, maybe it was an evil cabal or maybe we did it to ourselves.
I would love to be a saint or a messiah and not take a side - but I am no such thing and am instead writing an autobiographical blog about about how I identify with the esoteric right.
Make of that what you will; I’m writing it, mainly so that the left can gain some perspective on political polarisation and neurodivergence.
Most of my friends are lefties and I exist in a lefty sphere - when I inform people about my politics and spiritual beliefs, people often think I’m joking.
I’m afraid that I am not. I do not expect people whom I connect and associate with, or who engage with my work to agree with me and I will end this one by saying that in all honestly my biggest worry is not necessarily the left (I like the idea of free loving communism brought by God, not the state or the proletariat) …
But is infact authoritarianism -
Land (Nick) has stated what there will always be a left and a right and I think I agree, if you are more lefty than me, which I believe that you likely are - since my views seem to be fairly fringe, I do not ask that you become more right wing, but I do ask that you stand with us, fight for freedom, resist authoritarianism, control, the global state and the will of the mob.
- the irony being that in order to see that reality, you might have to become a little more right wing, or spiritual.
I’m still, at heart, a Mystical Anarchist - an obsecure one no doubt but I maintain that that real threat is mass society, modernism and authoritarianism - and I never have and never will have any time or sympathy for authoritarians.
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